Sam
Potterhead

trashfalgarlaw:

I follow the right amount of people where I see no actual drama on my dash but I see everyone talking about it

(via whatatrouper)

cumleak:

"i’ll be speaking with my lawyer" is the adult version of saying "im telling mom"

(via whatatrouper)

  • me: [watches five hour-long episodes of a tv show in a row]
  • friend: [sends me a link to an eight minute youtube video]
  • me: what the fuck i dont have time for this

in the shower

  • me: that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
  • me: yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
  • me: why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
  • me: i'ma read the back of this.
  • me: lather, rinse, repeat?
  • me: why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
  • me: hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
  • me: if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
  • me: eheheheheheheheheheh.
  • me: but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
  • me: did i already wash my hair?
  • me: i think i did but i don't remember.
  • me: i'ma do it again.
  • me: FUCK I REPEATED.
  • me: well played, pantene pro-v. WELL PLAYED
  • me: i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
  • me: i bet it's awkward.
  • me: i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
  • me: okay time to get out.
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: where the fuck is my towel.